I know that I am not alone in my phobia of the dentist, but mine has not come from nothing. I am not going to hide it; the last time I went to the dentist was 19 years ago.
There. I admitted it.
When I was a kid, I loved the dentist. But at the same time, in a small town businesses are just like that. You see everyone at the store, they treat you like they've known you 100 years and they ask you how you're doing and about your family. You get the idea.
I got braces when I was 9. Something that by the way, I would never do to a child that is not done growing unless there is something seriously wrong, but I'm not the professional. I can still remember the excruciating pain of having my elastics changed each month. I wasn't able to eat for days. I had oral surgery to have 4 teeth pulled before they could even put them on. I still have nightmares. I will never live down throwing up in my dad's car - my mom thought it was a great idea to have it done on a Friday so that he could deal with me half dead for the weekend so she didn't have to.
I got the braces off when I was 13. Afterwards, I still had a gap in between my front teeth. Also there were the infamous yellow spots that I still have to this day that I have tried everything in my power to take off to no avail.
Kids are not kind.
I went to the dentist a few more times, addressed the spots with them. During cleanings I am near tears in so much pain my teeth were left so sensitive. I am told that there is nothing that can be done, that it is part of my enamel and short of getting veneers I'm screwed.
The last time I went to the dentist I was 15, it was some random person in Belfast my mother took me to. He was old, had a huge pot belly and a bulbous red nose common in those in the advanced stages of alcoholism. I told him that my teeth were sensitive and that he was hurting me, and he replied by holding my head down with his forearm while I bawled and him causing so much damage to my mouth that it bled for 2 weeks after the appointment. I don't remember his name.
In my 20's I didn't have dental coverage and the only time I have gone in between was when I had to get my wisdom tooth pulled as an emergency, during which I bawled like a baby and almost hyperventilated and passed out.
When I first worked for my previous unnamed, big box wireless phone company and got dental insurance I went for a visit to a dentist in Bangor that I won't name. They took x-rays, were very condescending and rude. They thought that I would come back for 10 visits to have one thing done and then another, all needing to take time off of work because they were the "ship them in and out without really doing anything and keep charging for office visits" kind of place. They're on Union St. That's all I'm going to say. I didn't go back after having the x-rays done.
Fast forward to now, at the age of 34.
I was convinced my teeth were ruined. I was convinced that I had a million cavities. I brush twice a day and floss most of the time. Clearly it was not enough.
Last Monday, I thought I broke a tooth. In a panic I called a local dental office that was covered under my employer's dental plan. I have heard nothing but good things about this place so I was feeling pretty good about it. Fast forward to Thursday.
I went to leave 15 minutes before my appointment and the car battery was dead. That's not a good sign... It was my fault. Wednesday evening we had a bad thunderstorm and I remembered half way through it that not only did I leave my windows rolled down, but my sun roof was open too. The rain was coming down so hard that I couldn't see the river 20 yards from my house. While I was out in the torrential downpour, lightening struck down on the river front by my house and in my panic to get back to the house before Mother Nature killed me, I left the keys in the ignition still turned on. I booked it up the road, all uphill. I walk twice that length almost daily, but I plan to do that and am ready for it. By the time I got there I was pretty sure that I was near death, but I made it and I was on time. I was pretty sure that I was never going to stop sweating, but I was ok.
The hygienist I met was amazing. The kindest little old lady you'll ever meet in your life. She has been a dentist longer than I've been alive and she knows her stuff.
Come to find out: I have no cavities!! The tooth I "broke" just turned out to be disgustingness that came off the back of my tooth. Embarrassing, yes. I met with the dentist after the hygienist was almost done. She was amazed that I didn't have cavities. She is very confident that my tooth that is higher than the rest of them can be shaved down to be in line with the rest of my teeth. And then, she looked at my spots. She was livid that I was told that there was nothing that could be done, it was glue left over from my braces that was never taken off.
Glue.
FUCKING GLUE!!!!
Of course all the treatments I tried didn't work. They only work on enamel and not other things. This stuff is designed so that acid doesn't erode it away and ruin the braces when they're mounted on your teeth. I drove myself crazy for nothing. She did joke that not all Orthodontists use yellow glue, some use blue, or purple. I'm glad I got yellow. I cannot imagine what the last 21 years would have been like with blue teeth.
Relief on a level that I can't describe. I feel like I have my life back. I go back on the 20th of this month to have the rest of the work done, but just from the cleaning it has made a world of difference in how my entire mouth feels.
I am unafraid of so much, and yet this was always the one thing holding me back.
If anyone is looking for a dentist, I recommend Fort View Dental.
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