In my last post, I shared my need for minions. But upon reflection I realized that I would never get anything done, ever, because cuteness. I think a man servant would be much better.
I don't know what it is about me that makes me so easy to talk to, but I've been getting that a lot lately. I'm so easy to talk to. I guess it's a good thing. Maybe it's code for I'm not an asshole. I like that better. Maybe I should start charging.
Last night was a Blue Moon. I guess what they say about "Once in a Blue Moon" has some merit to it. Never has anyone left my life and come back, not only admitting that they were wrong for doing it but apologizing for it. I don't think that I can say never, maybe twice in the 34 years that I've been alive. I really hate having unanswered questions, so I've learned to stop asking them. Either you want to be a part of my life, or you don't. That choice has no bearing on who I am. All I can say in this particular situation is that without saying a thing, this person was gone. Our last contact was me opening myself up and discussing things that I haven't talked about in a long time. I opened myself up and they judged me. Or that's what I took the disappearance as anyway.
Here's the thing: I am open about my past. It's mine to have made peace with, and for the most part I have. I am open about who I am as a person in general. I was a big slut, but I'm not anymore. There were things that brought that side of me out that I didn't know how to handle and I don't tell everyone about. There's always gonna be a part of me that's sloppy and dirty and really hard to love, but I like that along with all of my other parts. Can you say the same about yourself? You may not have experienced the same things that I have, you may not be into the same things that I am, but you love hearing about it. If you are that special kind of asshole, see yourself out of my life before I realize what a douchebag you really are.
In other news:
The house failed inspection. Not because of anything that I did, the state fire marshall code changed on the bedroom windows, they have to have at least one window that opens about 7 inches more than they do in each bedroom. Also there was a peice of siding/flashing missing from the eve on top of the house so it either needs to be replaced or painted. It had to have been something that happened when the roof was done last summer. 2 of the stove burners don't work. They used to work if they were positioned just right, but now not at all. In past years, they've said that they would put it in the report and haven't. This year they're including it, or at least I hope. It would be nice to have a fully working stove, but I've managed to adapt. The only time that I would really need it is Thanksgiving. I cook every day, but not to the point where I need all the burners. He also said that the dryer vent was undone, which I did because I took it off to clean it only to find that it needs replacing because there's a couple of cracks in it. I'm sure that duct tape would fix it just fine but I'd rather not take the chance and die. What can I say, I have a penchant for worst case scenario at all times, it's how I was raised.
Met my son's new therapist Wednesday. I think that this will be a great fit for the time being. His services are for 90 days at a time with a max of 6 months, then he will resume with the prior one that he loves.
I was braiding my daughter's hair yesterday for the first time since she was in 3rd grade. She decided that she wanted it chopped off pixie length. I cut it and it looks pretty cute, but she wants it shorter on top. We decided to give it a couple of days. I think women of color with buzzed hair looks really beautiful. She can rock anything and be gorgeous. She also needs bigger bras. Gods help me.
I took this weekend off. 6 months ago we started planning a family reunion, that has now fizzled out because of whatever reason and has, as far as I know, turned into just a bbq gathering, which isn't that what family reunions are? I don't understand why everything has to be approached with such a flair for the dramatic. Set a time and date, whoever wants to be there because you're important to them will come. They had 6 months to plan for it, not like it's new news, but some are acting like they must have a hand delivered invite on parchment with the finest calligraphy or else they're not important enough to come. I love everyone and I'm happy to see family when I see them, but if you are really the kind of person to be stuck up your own asshole enough for this crap, then I got nothing. You were told about it, you had plenty of time to plan accordingly. Go. To. Hell.
Getting the car fixed Wednesday. The mechanic I spoke with told me that Saturn's are pretty straight forward so it should be 2-3 hours of labor. I like this person, my grandparents go to him for all of their car repairs. It helps that there's a pretty good view, if you catch my drift. If I hadn't had a mechanically inclined boyfriend over the past 7 years I would have too. A lot nicer than any of the other shops that I spoke with. I got a fantastic deal on the part at Green Point Auto in Brewer, $65 for a part that the median cost online was $175-225. I called around and got quotes without needing any alcohol, sedatives or bail money. It's quite an accomplishment if I do say so myself. Ask me again Wednesday how I'm doing. I pray that this is all that's all that it needs. I really can't take another thing going wrong. I still need to fix my window. I'm just afraid that I'm going to take it apart and that I either can't fix it myself and need to phone a man friend or that something else will go horribly awry.
That, and I also realized that I have an appointment Wednesday morning here at work that I cannot cancel or I lose out on $100 towards my yearly benefit payback. Maybe I can borrow a car from someone.
It would be great if things would just stop going crazy so I can stop having to act normal.
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