Mic. Drop.

When you have learned the fact that someone is never going to change, it can disturb your entire being.  But then there is an overwhelming sense of peace when you find your bearings again, and simply move on.

I have never taken crap from anyone in a relationship.  I don't know why the past 7 years have been so different for me.  It has been nothing short of a disaster of epic proportions, both emotionally and spiritually. 

I keep feeling like the same thing just keeps recycling itself.  The same lies, the same hurt feelings, the same love and hatred, the same broken dreams and shattered hopes, all the same crap, just rolling and tumbling around in the dryer with the dirty laundry and you never know what is going to pop out when you open the door.  Of course it never matches up with what you're hoping to find in the moment.  No specific peice of B.S. to match your shoes;  you just wind up with leopard print and paisley leaving the house hoping that nobody notices and it ends badly.  Always. 

People don't stop to think about who is being affected by the bullshit.  It's not just me.  I have kids that loved him too.  I can take it - tossing away old news is becoming second fiddle to me.  To ask them to is also asking me to do things to you that would put me in jail.

Nobody ever asks for a shattered, rotten heart with a side of fuck you, smothered in I know you are hesitant to take me back but I'm not lying even though I'm lying sprinkled with fake proof to make you take your guard down to make you love me so I can smash your soul.

And if you are handed that concoction and you find yourself starting to sound like Nancy Kerigan, the only reaction that is healthy, is to say "Fuck you, I'm out" and go get drunk with your best friends. And maybe screw one or two of his.