The What If

This is a ramble.  Consider yourself warned. I'm so working out out.

I don’t need to know. 

I don’t have all the answers. 

I don’t even care where we go from here, 

so long as it’s together. 

What if we just drifted without worry, 

and chose to float freely through this wonderful, sacred space. 

Without aim. 

Without the end in mind. 

Without the weight of expectations holding us down. 

What if we just watered one another -

blossomed and grew roots.

What if we got out of the way, 

and allowed fate to unfold before us? 

Something brought us together. 

You feel it, too – this connection. 

This energy and pull towards one another. 

It seems almost otherworldly. 

One moment my life was recognizable, 

familiar. 

Then, everything was vibrant all at once. 

Now I can’t look back. 

It’s taken a lifetime to trust what touches me deeply. 

Even though I don’t always understand it, 

I owe it to my soul 

to make the most of the journey. 

It’s easy to overlook the future when the space you’re in feels like everything. 

If forever never arrives, please know

this will still be enough for me.

Don’t tell me you’re not ready.

We’ve been twisting in the wind

for long enough.

Let me have my way with you,

raw, entirely.

Give in.

Let go.

I want your out of body experience.

Your eyes locked onto mine.

Your lip-bitten pleasure.

Your nails raking my bare skin.

To hear you begging.

   I’m not stopping.

Don’t tell me you need to rest.

We’ve been dreaming this dream

for long enough.

Let me learn you in ways others

couldn’t.

We’re safe in these sheets.

Let me in.

I want your hair by the fistful.

Your screams for more.

Your throat in my hands.

You, dripping on the floor.

 I’ll love you like you need me to.

Don’t tell me you’re tired.

We’re not done yet.

Let me take you to the other side.

Keep going.

   Hold on to me.

      Come with me.

I want your teeth against flesh.

I want to taste the sweat beading on your chest.

Your hunger - carnal and rising.

Your expletives wet.

Your every goddam drop of every goddam thing.

I’m in you so deep now.

Don’t tell me it’s too much.

I’ll love you until you’ve had enough.

Tell me you’re ready.

A relationship is a living thing, it needs to breathe… 

When You and I come together with love, we create “Us”.

And us is a real thing.

We know this because we refer to couples in particular ways…

We think of couples as a unit.

Because they are. 

As social organisms we are designed to bond and create tight units with other humans for biological and evolutionary purposes (and spiritual). 

We survive better with others. 

There is a significant part of our nervous system dedicated entirely to this process of bonding. 

Our Attachment System. 

When healthy, we attach smoothly with those who are values aligned and who feel safe to us.

A relationship, as we know it, is the synergistic blending of two (or more) lives together in order to co-create a new direction.

The better our synergy, the more abundantly we are capable of co-creating…and the better life we have. 

As long as our Attachment System is functioning healthily. 

Because like every living organism it needs to breathe…

Breathing in, we come together in connection.

Breathing out, we rest back into our individual selves

Space and togetherness

If we were to only breathe in, we would die. 

Relationally, this is enmeshment. 

If we were to only breathe out, we would die. 

Relationally, well this isn’t a relationship.

Yet because relationships are composed of two beings dancing together, we tend to polarise to one of the events.

One partner is always trying to make the relationship breathe in.

The other is always trying to make it breathe out.

And so the relationship hyper-ventilates… it can’t take a full, deep breath.

Not breathing deeply severely impacts human health. 

So too in relationship…

The desire for deeper connection is healthy. The desire for space to be ourselves is healthy

WHEN THEY ARE BALANCED.

Most of becoming secure is just learning how to do this.

Learning how to breathe together.

Remarkably simple in concept

Significantly challenging in action

It takes time to find this beautiful rhythmic breath.

Yet I also completely believe anyone can.