Yes you, the man who accepts the entirety of me.
Relationships take a lot of work, but when I found you - the one I didn't see coming, the one that opened my eyes, and a door to a whole new world full of possibility; everything with you and this (whatever it is) seemed to just come naturally and everything fell right into place. I love you, and I don't give a shit who knows. I just thought maybe you should know that. Sorry not sorry that I have given up on holding back my feelings (in this one very brief moment that we can pretend in person isn't happening) and they've invaded your personal space and violated the foundation of everything you say you don't want (but by keeping me around are all but saying that you do). I'm experiencing a whole new realm of feelings and emotions that I, truthfully, have never experienced and have no idea in hell what to do with.
I've been letting my past haunt me and rather than not trusting in you, I'm doing the complete opposite. Like a toddler you're watching sneak off with a box of cookies thinking you're busy watching TV, I don't trust my heart to keep it's shit together when it comes to you; and frankly, since I'm being honest for a moment, it's times like this that I can't. I have opened myself up and have (somehow) given you unparalleled access to wreck me entirely. And I (somehow) have faith that you won't.
All my life, even as a little girl watching cartoons and who's first crush was He-Man (please don't judge, I was 4), I've always fallen in love with the idea that the man who's meant for me is a good guy who's strong and makes me feel safe and secure and is funny and when I saw him for the first time the whole world would melt away and I'd be magically happy forever. So basically, an alien-ninja-clown-Casanova hybrid. Sorry for that.
Truthfully, that sounds so stupid of me to even say, simply because I know that you are far more than what my imagination could have even imagined, far more than all of the skeletons in my past, and much more than the "average Joe." And I would know that, because I kind of used to be a whore.
You aren't perfect, and you'll be the first to tell me just that, but neither am I and that's what I love about you the most. Your imperfections are what make you so perfect in all of your unique little ways. You treat me with the utmost respect, you at least like me unconditionally, you never let me fail or doubt myself, you've encouraged and supported me, you stand by me in the rough waters and the calm, and you calm me down like no other.
I know that I doubt you and I rant when I'm upset, but I also know that you have me pegged and understand when I mean things and when I don't. I'm stubborn and my mind wanders (like a fucking squirrel), but I also know that just because you don't react or respond in a way that I expect you to does not mean that you don't care or that you care any less. One thing for certain is that we always know just how to talk to each other and flush those assumptions down the porcelain god. Seriously, the amount of patience you have exerted listening to my rants, that are at least weekly, I'm in total awe of the fact that you haven't permanently injured something attached to yourself. You give the best advice. And I almost feel guilty that I'm paying you solely with sex and the occasional baked goods.
I literally have the human version of a blessing in disguise right in front of me. I can't explain why I constantly seek reassurance, and I'm so sorry that I do because you literally give me absolutely no reason for it. I overthink and underestimate you at times, but I also know that we're both still in the process of learning each other.
I've been letting my past haunt me and rather than not trusting in you, I'm doing the complete opposite. Like a toddler you're watching sneak off with a box of cookies thinking you're busy watching TV, I don't trust my heart to keep it's shit together when it comes to you; and frankly, since I'm being honest for a moment, it's times like this that I can't. I have opened myself up and have (somehow) given you unparalleled access to wreck me entirely. And I (somehow) have faith that you won't.
All my life, even as a little girl watching cartoons and who's first crush was He-Man (please don't judge, I was 4), I've always fallen in love with the idea that the man who's meant for me is a good guy who's strong and makes me feel safe and secure and is funny and when I saw him for the first time the whole world would melt away and I'd be magically happy forever. So basically, an alien-ninja-clown-Casanova hybrid. Sorry for that.
Truthfully, that sounds so stupid of me to even say, simply because I know that you are far more than what my imagination could have even imagined, far more than all of the skeletons in my past, and much more than the "average Joe." And I would know that, because I kind of used to be a whore.
You aren't perfect, and you'll be the first to tell me just that, but neither am I and that's what I love about you the most. Your imperfections are what make you so perfect in all of your unique little ways. You treat me with the utmost respect, you at least like me unconditionally, you never let me fail or doubt myself, you've encouraged and supported me, you stand by me in the rough waters and the calm, and you calm me down like no other.
I know that I doubt you and I rant when I'm upset, but I also know that you have me pegged and understand when I mean things and when I don't. I'm stubborn and my mind wanders (like a fucking squirrel), but I also know that just because you don't react or respond in a way that I expect you to does not mean that you don't care or that you care any less. One thing for certain is that we always know just how to talk to each other and flush those assumptions down the porcelain god. Seriously, the amount of patience you have exerted listening to my rants, that are at least weekly, I'm in total awe of the fact that you haven't permanently injured something attached to yourself. You give the best advice. And I almost feel guilty that I'm paying you solely with sex and the occasional baked goods.
I literally have the human version of a blessing in disguise right in front of me. I can't explain why I constantly seek reassurance, and I'm so sorry that I do because you literally give me absolutely no reason for it. I overthink and underestimate you at times, but I also know that we're both still in the process of learning each other.
So basically, a big shout out to your parents for creating you. I'm glad you exist, and thank you for putting up with me.
Me
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