Pin Curls & Disasters

Oye. 

The sentiment is pretty much all I can muster lately.

Found out what was wrong with the car.  Don't ask.  I can't even. 

Had a shoot Friday.  It was on the waterfront at 3 am.  I wore a Marilyn Monroe replica dress.  The shoot wasn't planned, it just worked out that I already had my hair and makeup done.  I had my hair done in pin curls for work because afterwards I was planning to have a couple of drinks with a friend for her birthday.  The last time I tried on the dress it was horrifyingly ugly on me, but this time it looked fantastic.  Hooray for weight loss and going an entire week without a flair up.

I almost didn't go out with my friend, but I did.  As I explained it to her:  She is going to have a birthday every year, whereas I may never get laid again.  So therefore anytime there is a possibility of that happening, it is going to trump everything else.  I met her boyfriend.  He is a nice guy.  I hope she keeps this one. 

I get failed relationships and the reasons behind them, nobody really knows what happens behind the scenes.  It's just that when you're the kind of person who's always searching for something else in every aspect of your life, and things are evolving and changing at warp speed because you just can't seem to be happy with anything as it is, should you really make someone else have to keep up with you? 

I guess I don't understand the concept of change.  I like things to be consistant.  As much as I like the adventure of trying new things brings (giggle snort, some of you know what I am implying), at my core I really, really like consistency.  With that said, someone has caught my attention that I can't ignore.  Out of fear that they're reading this, which I doubt, I won't go into details.  It's just that when you have dreamed about this sort of person your entire life and suddenly they appear completely by accident (or seemingly so) you get thrown off kilter a little with a great big HOLY CRAP! 

I screwed up big time and wrote the date of my house inspection as being tomorrow instead of today.  I'm sure it won't fail, but it is a disaster.  Teens are great for helping in that process.  I'm ready to throw everything out the door.  The lawn mower won't work, again.  I've tried 3x this week to get it running to no avail.  Outside looks like I'm losing a game of Jumanji.  Normally I would just sit back and suck in the nostalgia, but the stress is becoming overwhelming.  I couldn't sleep last night because I pumped myself full of caffeine trying to stay awake getting stuff done around the house.  I need clones.  Or minions.

Balancing on a double edged sword is something is something that I am either failing at or really good at and it feels more often than not that it's happening at the same time.