The peace I feel in my decision
not to chase after your fleeing,
flirting tail
leaves me with the underwhelming feeling
that you wanted me to this time.
There's only so much rejection
so many "not tonight's" one can bear
and so few times that a heart
is swallowed into your abyss,
turned to bits
like meaningless paper in a fan
before they find the place that makes them whole again
while reaching out for your hand and finding nothing.
Searching for where your iceberg
was a hit to my Titanic heart
and my insulted intelligence sounded the alarm
that a wolf was lurking.
Fighting for you.
Not seeing the corpses surrounding
your battlefield of a heart.
Finding nothing but instant regret
and washing my hands clean of us.
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