Father's Day...

....can suck it. Don't give me this crap sentiment about how this day is for single moms too. It is so not.

Some things that my son has been saying to me over the past week has opened up a firey pit of rage inside of me. He has always voiced a wish, not even a wish, a need to have a man in his life to spend time with him and teach him "manly things".  Perceived or real or whatever, it's there and he voices it almost weekly.

I just want to scream and rant about how much I hate Father's Day because it kills me that my kids don't have a single male role model in their lives.

But I won't.

I also won't lose my shit to your face like I want to with every eye role you give because they don't make sense to you.

I'm not sorry that my laa-tee-da free to be you and me lessons of acceptance and peace and love are too much for you to handle, given that I am much too busy busting my ass bringing up my children to NOT be judgemental, bullying assholes like you are.

I also won't say that breaking a child down every time you do see them and refusing to be a role model in a child's life because they don't have the same interests as you is not loving them.

I also won't say that after putting up with your shit because they have to for the past 11 and 14 years, they aren't even happy to see you anymore. But they do love you anyways, because I have raised them to love everyone for the assholes that they truly are. And they continue to consistently hope that the next time that they see you that you will finally be able to just be nice to them about something.

It kills me. Especially when I am so busy praying that you won't treat your own children they way that you treat mine that I can't even be happy for you.

You are worse than the male that helped bring them into the world who chose to stay completely out of the picture.

Around but absent. A much better term for what you are, since selfish bastard is the only thing that comes to mind when I think of you the rest of the time.

You know who you are. Kiss my ass.

Instead, I will say that even though I don't get to see my dad as much as I'd like, we have a fantastic relationship. Later today the kids and I are making him dinner. He deserves our time.

INSTEAD, I will just continue to watch YouTube videos on how to tie a tie at Christmas for my son.

Instead, I will teach them the awesomeness that are action films and burping contests.

Instead, I will teach my kids that hugs and feelings are not bad things.

Instead, I will be the one to teach them how to fish and camp.

Instead, I will just continue to be who I am, as I am because I don't know who or what else to be. Not their friend. Not their father. THEIR MOTHER.