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 I crave a gentle life.

I know what hell looks like already.  

More harsh lessons aren’t necessary.

Give me soft evenings, 

sweet as chocolate.

Nights worn like wool.

Let’s laugh till we’re in tears,

alongside those who make loving us look easy.

I want to breathe in the air of everywhere I once dreamt of making memories.

Though my hardships have shaped me,

in beautiful and painful ways that I will forever be grateful for.

I want my days to be full and affectionate.

I want to be formless,

someone who flows and moves without worry.

Some days I’m water.

Others, I’m lava.

Both are real.

Both are me.

All versions of me are honest and necessary.

Who I am is safe when respected.

I’d rather be a great friend to a few

than an acquaintance to many.

I’d rather be widely accepting

than widely accepted.

I want to be the one that others know it’s safe to turn to.

I want to be the person who I needed all those years ago.

There’s a softness within me that wasn’t always there.

It grew from heinous places.

Cold, callous, remorseful places.

My softness is my greatest strength.

To not be hardened by the very things meant to break you, that’s what I’m most proud of.