So many things to catch you up to speed on....
I made my blog private and only visible to other blog authors for a bit. I felt it was necessary for my safety. Being grilled hourly over something I said by someone who shouldn't be grilling me about what's going on in my life is kind of worrisome.
I got a new car. Well, new to me anyway. An 05 Chevy Equinox. Her name is Mavis, and she is very nice. I got a fantastic deal and she came with a date.
Long story short, the salesman gave me his personal # on the back of the company card. The next day I sent him a text thanking him for his help and just verifying that I really enjoy the car. We went out to dinner. Then this past Sunday we went out for a drink and then to the movies. Not just any movie, the new Star Wars movie! I geeked out so hard that he said he had a better time watching me than he did watching the movie :) I may have fan girl squealed a couple of times, but it was such an out of body experience I can't say for sure. I am so excited to see it again that I actually made plans with another friend to go see it this coming week, and he took his son to see it already too. What can I say? I like to surround myself with freaks.
So, on my way home, I get a call from the ex. He asks how the movie was. I start talking about it and then he interrupts. Asks me who I went with. I lied. While I don't care that he knows if I'm dating again, I'm getting pretty worried. He pulled into my driveway behind me, because he was waiting outside of the theatre, taking pictures of me and my date; like a stalkerific nutcase. Not a fan. My relationship with him is an entire different post.
Oh, and for my weekly alcohol evaluation: Coney Island Hard Orange Cream Ale is amazing. Due to my childhood love of creamsicles my friend bought them for me knowing this, and it was love at first sip. They go down much smoother than anything that should be legal. I may have to get more tomorrow, but I have plans and I'm worried that I won't be able to keep them if I do because they are truly the new loves of my life.
Mr. Invader of WhatTheFuck-Landia is still in the forefront of my mind. I don't know why. I am treated as though I am an afterthought 98% of the time. We were supposed to get together. Alas, per usual behavior he disappeared. I went all "Say Anything" on him and sent him a note without proofreading or editing before I could change my mind. I read it today....it wasn't pretty. Some of it wasn't nice either. Loads of spelling and grammatical errors. Not my best work, but I think I got my point across without being whiny. Maybe. It included something about "normal human behavior going against everything that he's telling me" and him being "fucking perfect", if memory serves me correctly...I called his place of business Monday, half to ask him about pants, mostly because I miss him. And to tell him about the horrible thing I was going through because somehow I thought it would help me feel better. It did exactly what I knew it would. We both know exactly what that is. He mentioned that he read it. I don't know if I'll ever hear from him again and I'm not going to dwell on it.
At least not for more than the total of an hour a day....
I didn't say that.
Let me be clear that I am not under any kind of delusion that I mean something more to him than what it was. He sucked me in. I let him against my better judgement. He is clearly an expert. I knew it. I let him anyway.
Anyways, moving on...
Something else happened that was horrible that I'm not going to blog about. Not anytime soon anyway. There will surely be blog posts, just not published ones. My last post was a vent/writeup relating to it. My past wasn't pretty. I want it to stay there, but just like every other bad thing in the Universe, it won't die completely and must be dealt with accordingly. And that is what I plan on doing exactly.
I got my pictures from the shoot that I did last week. I edited them and posted some on my fet profile. When I upload new pics I like to leave them open for a day or two. I got a new contact for possibly doing another shoot, that was nice. And then there's always the jackass who has to ruin it for everyone and say something that causes me to make them friends only again...like the time that some guy that I recognized from that site but never spoke to sitting on the couch across from me at work and staring at me until I made one of the security guards come talk to me just so I wasn't alone with him in the lobby with nobody else around pretending to be busy. Yeah, that happened about a month ago.
I think I want to see Mr. Car Salesman again. He seems nice enough. Maybe more friend material than anything else, but that could also just be self-preservation talking. I haven't even felt a desire to kiss him. That's weird for me. And he's cute. I should be totally gaga for him and I'm being a Fucktard and I know it. To be completely honest for a moment, just one, I'm still really missing Mr. IOWTFL. I fell. Hard. I don't know what to do. I'm just going to live my life the way that I want to and he knows where to find me. I can't drop my pride and dignity and chase after a grown ass man who clearly doesn't want to make sense.
That's all I can say. None of it makes sense.
Well goodnight. I'm half in the bag and mad for someone who doesn't want me around and avoiding other ones who do. I must attempt sleep. Although I have learned this past week just how long I can go without sleep before I am a weeping five year old again, I don't desire to feel that way again.
Night all!!
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