Through

It's not when my mouth is going 100 mph 

And my eyes are running like faucets 

And the cliche Angels and Demons are racing the Indy 500 in my head 

That you should be worried if we're through.

It's when my heart and brain are finally are on speaking terms

And your voice feels like a sword in my ear. 

When the hardness that lives in the center of me has locked you inside it

And I simply have nothing more to say to you

That means you're screwed.

Because that is when I'm completely finished.

I never thought the day would come when we were just done.  

Where I would feel nothing in my bones for you at all.  

No more waiting for you to wake up and realize you miss me.

No more hoping you'll call. 

I just started living again.

Not everyone's kiss means the same thing.

Temporary feelings and fucking around

Create permanent memories and hurtful scars;

Remember that.

Sometimes the past is your teacher

And other times, regret is.

Come on over and suck on my last straw,

I dare you.

-Cynicallovebird

Resignation

You always acted like you could live without me.
Why are you so angry?
I'm just helping you do it.

I somehow led myself to believe that you were much more magical than you really are.
I can't say who's at fault for that,
nor do I want to spend another millisecond trying to analyze and calculate blame.
I can't stand it when another person is unhappy
but they refuse to do anything about it in the interest of avoiding confrontation.
You cannot change what you don't confront.

Sometimes we make mistakes and when we do,
we aren't willing to just accept that maybe,
just maybe,
it's okay to admit that it doesn't work for us and move on.
Well, I have a secret to tell you:

If it doesn't feel right, it's because it's not right.

I never wanted wanted to be loved because I am good for you.
I'm not everything you have been looking for.
You made it clear that I'm not the one who gets under your skin;
Who made you unsteady.
You never questioned everything you've ever believed about love looking into my eyes.
The one you were infuriatingly and inexplicably drawn to;
Like I was to you, unfortunately.

You say you think this time you've found the one in one breath
and tell me how miserable you are in the next;
but we both know you still spend time thinking about me.
The love I felt for you in my hands can't be replaced with her touch.

Congrats.
You drove a really good person away out of her life
because in your testosterone filled,
so-called manliness you felt so insecure that you had to prove that you could do it.
What the fuck have you won??
How many lies does this make now?
Did it make you feel any better that you destroyed a friendship?
Our friendship.
Her friendship.
Guess what?
A real person who is an adult,
would have been honest with you about them being in their life in the first place.
Any person with any amount of respect for themselves
would never allow another person who cares about them feel worthless
or question their role in that person's life.

None of that would matter to you if you were happy.

You were wrong about him, by the way.
You're not the better man.

I felt betrayal and loyalty tangled up in my hair.
I believed in beauty looking straight into your ugly truth.
We became the best and the worst for and from each other.
And it's all over now.

The saddest part of all is that you're giving her less love and she doesn't even realize this
because she's settled into a bed with someone who isn't even there.
But you're refusing to give up on what doesn't work for you
and holding everything that will at arms length out of your own ignorance.
I've found my voice and my strength and I'm moving on from you
And you're stuck with a bitch who lied.
And none of it matters now,
Because I'm done.

"These are all of the things that I love about you.  You're so trustworthy and amazing. I want you to always be yourself;  but in this one case don't do any of that.  Lose your integrity.  Drop your morals about twenty notches.....nope, lower......there ya go!  That's it.  Now, keep your mouth shut.  It's not lying if you keep your mouth shut."
No I won't.  Yes it is.  Fuck.  Directly.  Off. 

Happy Anniversary

I'm in love with you.
It's as simple,
and as complicated as that.

Love is not something you can end on purpose.
I should know,
I've thrown myself off of emotional cliffs and into oceans of alcohol trying to.
I can swear I'm moving on or do my best to forget you ever existed,
but inevitably I'll still be thinking about you.
Somehow you've always had a way of showing up.

A poem like ours can never truly be finished in the soul of a poet like me.
I suppose that this is why I keep coming back to you for inspiration.
I can't get rid of the nagging in the back of my mind
that I'll finally be able to make peace with our broken pieces.

Are you free tonight?
Let's meet at that place we always talked about going back to.
We should have a drink.
I think our demons should have a chat.
Perhaps they can finally take their claws out of our backs.