Over

I confess that I loved you more than I let on
but you weren't ready for it
and I wasn't going to pour myself into hands
that I knew weren't equipped to hold me

Some people exist to show you exactly what isn't right for you.
I understand now that I'm separated from the situation that I was never in love with you.
It was just a manipulation of the hope that I had developed in the back of my brain
from too many Disney movies as a kid.

When you truly love someone,
you accept them for who they are,
what they want out of life.
I knew from the second I met you that you were not capable of loving me
and I accepted that
and found peace in things as they were.

I stopped wanting to be loved by you.
I stopped putting that pressure on you;
and myself.
I stopped caring if I was perfect.
You acted like you accepted me as I am.
That was a big fat lie and I knew it,
what was I really going to do?
Time with you became the break from my life that I thought I needed,
but all I found was a black hole disguised as a rabbit hole.

I found solace in not being anything to you.
That became the entire point.
The only thing I ever had to be when I was with you was "there".

There was no pressure,
because it clearly didn't matter to you whether I was or not.
I became something I didn't recognize;
and maybe I shouldn't have bent the knee,
but I can't take it back now.

Although I swear that this is a new chapter,
it will always feel like it has the same old end.
Leaving me with more questions than answers.

The warrior in me is filled with disappointment.