Father's Day 2016

Technology is awesome.  Without it, this blog would just be a paper diary under my mattress.  I still have one, to write "other things" aka non-public things and because sometimes nothing beats pen to paper getting it out, but I like reading blogs because it helps me feel grounded.  It's a good outlet for what's going on with the things in my head and if I can share it and help just one other person on the planet feel like they're not entirely alone and crazy then I'm going to do it until my fingers fall off. 

Thing #35,302,259,347 that I never thought I would have to Google and have had to since becoming a parent:  How to get dog pee out of dress shoes.  Apparently my elderly 9 year old terrier thought he was telling me off by peeing in my favorite shoes the other day when I didn't take him to the store with me.  In my defense I was there to grocery shop vs go in for one thing and it was way too hot for him to be in the car even with the windows rolled down.  When I went to give him hell for it, usually he would run to his bed when he's done something bad but he just grinned ear to ear at me as if to say "Yes, I did that.  Now let that be a lesson to you!"  I couldn't even be mad.  They're just shoes.

I love talking to my kids.  They have the best things to say.

Last night while eating dinner my daughter wasn't feeling well and my son picked up that it was because it was her "time of the month".  My son was horrified by this because,

"You mean to tell me that you get it on the weekends too!?  Jesus.  I'm so sorry to hear that."

I was talking to my son about making cupcakes for his Papa (my dad) this morning.  I'm at work, telling him about how to do it over the phone.

Me:  "After you make the cake mix, use the ice cream scoop to put it into the tin."
Him:  **huge pause and a huff**
           "Well, what the Hell am I am making then?  Cakes?  Or cupcakes?"

Insert huge roar of laughter and snickering from his sister, because he clearly was not aware that cake batter is what is needed to make cupcakes.

Nothing specific is going wrong at the moment.  Nothing catastrophic.  Milestones come and go:  Girl child graduated middle school.  My son turns 13 in two weeks.  Then I'll be the parent of two teenagers AND a high schooler.  Feeling how I do now, I have no idea how I'm going to cope when my daugther turns the same age I was when I had her.  Probably celebrate the fact that she (hopefully) will have her life more together than I did at that time.  Hell, I still don't have it together, but I certainly do more so now than I did back then.  Sometimes I think back to that time, and it just makes me so grateful for everything that I have now.  Most people (and it's mostly those who haven't stuck around long) aren't aware of what it's taken me to get to the point that I'm at now.  I've been a single parent for 15.5 years.

Which brings me to this next statement.  Yesterday was Father's Day.  As a single mom who also has an amazing relationship with my dad and grandfather who I now don't get to see as often as I would like to now that I'm an adult with responsibilities of my own, this day is not also for the mom's who do "double the work".  I am not a man, nor do I ever wish that I could fit into the roll of one.  I am their mother, plain and simple.  This day is to honor Fathers or Father Figures.  Not to place blame on absentee parents or male family members who, for whatever reason, have no presence in a child's life.  I would much rather not even acknowledge the existence of my ex just like my children and I do every other day.  Yes, I do "double the work", but I also get all the hugs and the laughter.  I get to teach them that it's the moments spent working hard and having fun doing it are what matter;  but I wouldn't have this to teach them if it wasn't for the men who had a hand in raising me.

So that's what I have for now.  Thank those who deserve it and move on not giving an ounce of energy to those who might not.  Be good to each other.