I'm sitting on my porch chair that I have painted bright yellow
In an attempt to bring sunshine into my life
I can't get you off my mind
Maybe if I sleep for more than three hours
I'll forget the way your mouth felt
Or the way your eyes examined me
I keep forcing my mind to wander to a different subject
But like a boomerang here we are
Trying to put as many miles between you and my mind as possible.
We're in the same Hell
Just dealing with different devils
And coping in very different ways
Cowardess seems to be working out well for you
Even though you've always known exactly where and how to get to me
I'm sure you'll never read this
I can't help but think that the Universe sent you to me to teach me a lesson of sorts.
You are not the only man who has ever said no to me
And then keeps coming back like a boomerang.
The view from my deck wrapped in my blanket
Looking out at the still river and the shadows looming
Thinking to myself
This is what horror films set in Maine are made of
How fitting for the nightmare that I'm in.
My barrier that I had up against you was the only part of me that was still whole.
How did I let you in?
Sometimes we just know things.
And no matter how much we know it's going to crush us we long for it anyway.
I never saw this night coming
Normally the thought of tearing a man apart would thrill me
But it doesn't.
You were different.
I am determined to make tonight the beginning of what I fear has ended
Without the "It's over" goodbye I need to move on from you
Even though common sense is yelling in my face like an abusive acquaintance.
So tequila and a good nights rest is my next attempt at letting this be.
All these fucking attempts are getting annoying.
Running in circles, chasing your tail.
This shit better work.
Was it three or four shots that did the trick?
I can't recall.
My first attempt was deleting every trace of you from my phone.
There really was no point.
Pictures; your touch is burned into every nerve ending.
Text messages; the way you have about you when you're sweet talking me won't leave my ears.
Call history; I cannot wash away the bruises left on my pride every time you've blown me off.
Your contact information:
Why does my mind have to remember numbers better now than it did back in 1990?
All coming back to the same conclusion: I was going to marry you.
But it doesn't.
You were different.
I am determined to make tonight the beginning of what I fear has ended
Without the "It's over" goodbye I need to move on from you
Even though common sense is yelling in my face like an abusive acquaintance.
So tequila and a good nights rest is my next attempt at letting this be.
All these fucking attempts are getting annoying.
Running in circles, chasing your tail.
This shit better work.
Was it three or four shots that did the trick?
I can't recall.
My first attempt was deleting every trace of you from my phone.
There really was no point.
Pictures; your touch is burned into every nerve ending.
Text messages; the way you have about you when you're sweet talking me won't leave my ears.
Call history; I cannot wash away the bruises left on my pride every time you've blown me off.
Your contact information:
Why does my mind have to remember numbers better now than it did back in 1990?
All coming back to the same conclusion: I was going to marry you.
The view from my deck wrapped in my blanket
Looking out at the still river and the shadows looming
Thinking to myself
This is what horror films set in Maine are made of
How fitting for the nightmare that I'm in.
My barrier that I had up against you was the only part of me that was still whole.
How did I let you in?
Sometimes we just know things.
And no matter how much we know it's going to crush us we long for it anyway.
I never saw this night coming
