I was told once that the best way to get over it, was to sweat over it. Not physically told by someone, but picked up from one of those "fitness instagrammers" who lost a bunch of weight so now they think they're inspirational life coaches.... I won't get started on them, I like clean eating and health and fitness as much as the next person who loves delicious food and Netflix just as much but not enough to starve my body of the things that make me happy to do anything about minimizing my curves (and why the hell would I want to do that); but this time I think they were right. Whenever I'm aware of the fact that I've hit an emotional roadblock, doing something mindless like walking the dog in the middle of the night instantly resets my brain enough to get it out.
Hence the ensuing vent. I apologize ahead of time, it's a doozy.
Why can't we just do things right and love whole heartedly and unconditionally without being told that it's wrong? Granted monogamy isn't for everyone, but for fuck's sake, even the people it's for can't get it right these days!
I want this: Loyalty to my face AND behind my back. Huh! Imagine that. Being an honest person. The realization that not being a dick is suddenly some kind of "new-fangled idea" to people who existed pre-social media makes me fucking cringe. What the H.E. Double Hockey Sticks is wrong with people?
And just to get something straight right now: There's a huge (just to be clear, we're talking Atlantic ocean sized) difference between asking me to be patient and just expecting me to act like I'm stupid for the sake of letting you get away with treating me like shit. I'll tell you what bub, go wish in one hand and jerk off in the other, and we'll see which one gets filled first, K?
Another thing too: I'm an amazing person to have around. If you're having a bad day, I'm going to make sure that you have whatever you need to work through it and have a better one. I am a really good friend as often as I can be, and I like to surround myself with friends who feel the same way. At the same time, there are some things that girlfriends do, that "friends" simply do not.
In other words: QUIT EXPECTING GIRLFRIEND LEVEL ACTIONS WITHOUT RELATIONSHIP LEVEL COMMITMENT!!!!!!
I know, I know. That probably hurt your sensitive eyeballs and felt like a kick in the nuts. Deal! Not by any means am I one to sleep around, but if you want to be the only person getting my energy, you're going to have to date me. And this whole, "expecting me to do things that you're not willing to do..." is nothing but a great big bag of NOPE.
That is so much better than all this shit we are doing now. I am so frustrated and fed up with trying to fall in love with a generation of men who just don't care and just want to get laid every chance they get. That, and they were raised to believe that they don't need to grow a pair just because one nut job fucked them over in not any fun ways. Does it mean that all of us are out to? Of course not. Everything is disposable to people nowadays, even other people, and it sucks.
It. Sucks.
Dating is weird for people like me.
"Hey thing of the human species I find slightly attractive, wanna hang out and get to know me a little bit, and maybe human together?"
Dating used to be so awesome back in the day: the boy asks the girl out, shows up at her house and picks her up, brings flowers or some other token of affection to win her over. There was effort put into it. It was an event, and gave us girls an excuse to get dressed up and look pretty and the boys smelled nice. Now it's just "Hey, come over if you feel like it." Acting casual to avoid the atomic "F" word that leads to a human MAYBE ACTUALLY FUCKING LIKING YOU. Basically I am more of a dude than most men I know, but I don't want to act like one all the time. I want to be treated like a girl sometimes. I want it to be okay when I decide that I can drop my facade of dudeliness and "In-Chargeness" at something other than a photo shoot and be treated like a fucking queen instead of Swamp Thing.
But I don't, because dating has changed from romance and squishy feelings to a game of who can fuck with the other's head more. It's called "being friends" or "hanging out" now. And then if we actually did have fun "hanging out", we can't act like it. Sex has to be casual, and free of feelings. And we can't let on to each other that we might only want to sleep with them, because, well that would mean it was a relationship. We can't call it dating, because that would mean that one of us actually likes each other.......
Can we have a moment of silence for the common sense that just flew out the window ............................ ............................. ..........................moment ............................ of ....................... silencing...........................................................................................no seriously, we're moment of silencing because, stupidity................................................insert mental rant about how I hate all of humanity. ..................................... Not the time J, we're silencing right now .............................................................................
Isn't that the point of dating? Hint: You want them to like you.
Update: I seriously had to wait a couple of days (Okay 4. 4 days) to come back to finishing this because I was pretty sure I was about to have an aneurysm writing those last few paragraphs.
Dudes, I am over hearing about how girls are all clingy and pushy because they CONTACT YOU WHEN THEY LIKE YOU!!! Let me get this straight; you want us to not act like bitches and be nicer, but the second we do, you run like hell? **The world has gone silent. My brain actually stopped working at that moment of stupidity.... **crickets chirping**
Who the fuck do you think you are? In your head, you're a 10+ when in reality you're probably a 6, but with the way you treat people, you're more like a -4 with that shitty personality. Fuck directly off.
Don't get me wrong, I would kick all of your asses at Yahtzee. I love games. But I am over the "talking about plans until we're blue in the face, and I'm all excited to see you, then get "I can't" when it's time to grow a pair and actually make the fucking plans. You can't act like you're actually excited to see them, then they'll start ignoring you.
If I have one more conversation via text that should have been at the very least a phone call or definitely a face to face discussion, I'm going to fucking lose my shit entirely. And then if you decide that you don't want to see them anymore, "Ghosting" is a thing now. Whatever happened to having balls? Sack. The. Fuck. Up!!!!! Nobody likes to be ignored and treated like crap. When did this ever become an okayish thing to do? Because it's not. Respect. It's a thing.
We're all trying to out-asshole each other. Stop it. Stop it now. Put down the Tinder!!! It's in the rules dating back to preschool times. If you like a person, tell them. Then if they don't like that you like them, then to hell with them and move on with your day and find someone else to play on the swings with. (giggle, snort. See what I did there? Sorry not sorry, my brain just goes there). Seriously, if you don't know if you want to be with me or not, deuces! It doesn't make it suck any less, but I'm done throwing my brain out the window and giving all of my energy to anyone who is just going to rip out my heart too. I don't acknowledge that I have one all the time, but I do, and so do you. You really should be a little more careful with it.
Dating is fucked. We're all fucked. Stop fucking each other and fucking around and fucking love each other instead. How fucking hard is that?
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